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Breaking Up is Hard to Do

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Hey there,

Love your blog!

I was in a 3.5 year relationship which ended two months ago. I still love him and he’s still kind of around…he calls and/or emails a few times a week and still says he loves me and wants to have kids with me. During our relationship I was a betch and we had a strong bond. He said he had more fun than he’d ever had before with a woman and that I was one of only two women he’s even loved.

My question is: should I continue to stay in contact with him? I really miss him and our relationship fell apart largely due to life circumstances (his health and job were in terrible shape and he had a bit of a crisis). Is this betchy??? I never initiate contact and am always warm and fun and responsive when he has something meaningful to say to me. He’s always trying to figure out what I’m up to and if I’m with someone. I just don’t know how to carry it at this stage.

Thanks,

Confused

Dear Confused,

Thanks for reaching out! It can be really hard to separate yourself from an ex after a 3.5 year relationship because that’s all you’ve known for those 3.5 years. You’ve built this attachment and starting over doesn’t sound all to exciting especially when feelings are still involved. However, you and your ex did break up, which tells me what you had was broken.

He sounds like he’s saying all the right things, but those are just words. What do his actions say?? That’s what you need to pay attention to. I strongly recommend separating yourself completely or things will get really sticky, as I’m sure you’re starting to see. This is a great time to be a little selfish with your own time, your own hobbies, and your friends. This time may lead you to the man you can’t live without. Imagine if you never find him because you’re still answering your ex’s calls and texts?

Whenever you’re confused, frustrated, or disappointed there’s only two things you can do: change your perception or change the situation. Luckily for you, you can do both in this case! You can separate yourself completely and you can stop feeling bad for him. It’s your year, girl. Don’t let an ex hold you back.

Hope this helps makes things a little bit clearer!

Xo,
The Lease Agreement


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